Tuesday, July 9, 2013

I'm Back!

It has been way too long since I blogged last. I have had so much going on in the last year that it's hard to catch up with everything. This post is going to be mostly a picture dump because I have a lot of really great pictures that are worth sharing. As some of you have probably noticed, the layout of my blog is A LOT different. Much simpler and much easier to navigate through. So, hopefully it will bring more people to my blog and get some of my old readers to come back and start reading again.

Here we go!

2013 started off just lovely. We celebrated the New Year with a new addition to the family. Her name is Zoe and she is a schnoodle. My friend Erica brought an adorable baby girl into the world January 15, 2013 and I was lucky enough to be in the delivery room with her to take pictures.
  Welcome to the world baby Sawyer Kate Haff 9lb 21in born at 1:15am

Derek left for the NAMM show like he does every year the week of my due date. It was hard on me not only because I was alone on my due date but poor Stratton got sick the night that Derek left.
 I set him up a little spot on the floor so he could sleep without being too far from the toilet.
 He bounces back so quickly. The very next day he was up and dancing around the house.

We baby sat Sage for a little while while Derek was gone at the NAMM show because I needed some more pets around the house. Haha. Zoe loved Sage but Sage didn't really want much to do with her. Poor thing.

  Groucho of course was usually found curled up in a ball trying to stay warm.
 January 26th Stratton and I went up to the Show Me Center to see Uncle Marcus and his robotics team compete.
 Lets just say it was a whole room full of dorky/really smart people.
 Sage slept most of the time that she stayed with us. That's what happens when you get old.
 Stratton absolutely loves having Sagey girl around to snuggle up with.
 Before Derek came home from NAMM Stratton and I of course had to go get Golden Gate without him just to rub it in a little bit.
 Zoe got her first haircut and they even put little bows in her hair. She looked so much different from when we first got her.
 My mom signed Stratton up for art classes at Cateye Glasses Studio in Cape this year. He is such a boy, he hates painting and coloring. Which kind of breaks my heart because I'm an art major. One of these days I'll get him to start coloring.
 Stratton's best friend Keegan happened to be at Le Bounce one day when Derek and I took Stratton there. Him and Keegan are a few months apart and go to the same baby sitter. Keegan is such a little cutie.
 Stratton was so happy to have Daddy home from the NAMM show. We went out and ate dinner at Apple Bees to welcome him home.
 This winter was finally cold enough for me to break out the bibs and go to a bon fire.

 Dad invited me and Stratton down to the Jackson pond to trout fish.

 He caught a few while we were there but it was SO dang cold we didn't stay too long.
 Nana Lisa and her babies. Stratton, Cobie and Payne
 Stratton loves to cuddle up with daddy at night when he sleeps.
 We finally moved up to an actual booster car seat now. It was a little scary but he loves it because it has cup holders. We all know it's a much now a days.
 
 I've been working my little booty off trying to get back in shape. I joined a gym and even started to eat healthier. GASP! No more sleeves of Oreos for me. (well maybe a few)
 This was my progression.  Left to right: day 1, Day 30, Day 60, Day 90.
 Three months of working my butt off and I finally saw some results.
 Stratton has been falling asleep in his car seat a lot lately. I thought the way he was sitting here was just hilarious. He woke up with a huge line across his face from the seat belt.
 Stratton has certainly became a bit of a ham. I was taking a bath and he decided to come in and give me some attention. Like I needed it. He lined up all his cars along the bathroom door and was doing karate for me.
 My sister and my mom have gotten him into taking baths with goggles on now too. He loves it obviously.
 Derek and I took the day off for our anniversary and made a day of it by going out shopping and going out to eat. I have seriously been looking for this backpack for ages. I feel in love. Too bad it was like $35
 We had Shogun's for dinner which was pretty awesome as usual. This was the first year we celebrated sans Stratton.

School this year was full of some really fun projects. This one was by far my favorite.
 I collected a ton of cigarette boxes and cartons and sewed this dress together.
 I'm lucky enough to have a beautiful friend that models for a living to show it off for me.

 I think it turned out amazing and I'm so lucky to have such a great friend to help me out.
 Stratton has been learning how to draw and color at this point. We are working on writing his name and drawing people and buildings.
 Unfortunately, Stratton has also been plagued with some cavities this year. 
 He covered Minnie's eyes from the bright light.
 We got to introduce Zoe to her first snow this year.
 It was hilarious watching her run around and play in it. She had it all over her muzzle and would drench our couch every time she would come in the door.

We had some more trout fishing before the weather got too warn for it. This time Derek and Stratton both came.

 Stratton loves fishing.
 Here is Zoe after her second grooming. She looks so pretty.
 Stratton and Derek cuddling again.
 I got a new nephew this year on June 7th this year. We celebrated Steph's "last supper," as we like to call it, at Tractors.
 Harris Wayne Williams was born June 7th weighing 9lbs 12oz and 21 in long. Just for the record, Aunty Em guessed his weight spot on!
 Steph looked beautiful even after just giving birth.

 Big brother Payne holding baby Harris for the first time.
 Great Grandma Mona, Harris, and Payne.
 Finally my turn holding the new baby. Aunty Em loves her nephews.
 He is SO precious.

Harris had a few complications we found out a few days after his birth. He has a condition called Hirschsprungs Disease. I won't go into detail about it but it was something to do with his intestines not working properly. He was flown to St Louis to Children's and was fixed up and ready to come home less than two weeks later. He's happy and healthy now and Aunty Em just loves kissing on those chubby cheeks of his.
 Another new baby is the fur baby that my sister and Marcus adopted. His name is Oswald. He had a rough first few weeks with my sister and Marcus. He came home from the Humane Society with Parvo. He was really sick for a while and lost a lot of weight but he too is on the mend and is a happy healthy puppy now.
 Stratton has been obsessed with hats recently. Even sleeping in them.
 Stratton loves his Zoe girl. He calls her Zo Zo
 Oh Oswald. You have the sweetest face around.
 Oswald and Groucho didn't hit it off very well in the beginning. Groucho hid while Oswald tried to play with him. Poor guy. He just wanted to be friends.
 Stratton is now finally starting to color....with his left hand of course.
 A coworkers husband brought this beautiful car into work last month and was kind enough to let me take a few pictures of it. It was a '55 Chevy. My favorite color too, blue.


 Round two of Stratton getting cavities filled wasn't as easy as the first. He had to have a shot to numb him this time and did not like the numbing feeling. He cried not from the shot but from his mouth being numb.
 He got through it really well but not without a few tears.
 I had a garage sale in mid June that was a total success. Oswald was obviously a huge help during the whole ordeal.
 He slept the entire time.
 I of course had to pick on him.
 Oswald loves to mess with Casey and Marcus's mats in their bathroom. He's kind of a spazz about the memory foam mats.
 Stratton had his first Zebra gum and I of course had to show him how to do a tattoo on his tongue.
 This is what happens when you're in the bathroom too long at my sisters house.
 Derek's Uncle Jimmy, his wife Shana and little Jimmy came in to town that weekend also and we got to let the little boys play together.
 They are both obsessed with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
 This is what happens when you take a 4 year old shopping.
 So, just to give my sister a little bit of an anxiety attack I decided to send her a picture of my desk. She was not pleased to say the least. 
 Here's another project that I got to work on this year. This is part of what I do at work. I design different labels and packaging for different products. This was a snake that was specially designed for a line called Passion & Excellence. I think it turned out pretty great.

 So this happened the other day. It was like a month expired. I drank most of it and then felt sick the rest of the day.
 This little guy was wandering about in the shop at work so I picked him up and decided to put him in a cup to show Stratton.
What I didn't realize was that it would do this to a Styrofoam cup.











I of course had to take it down to the light box at work and give it a photo shoot.

 Stratton and I visited a new daycare place in town last week. He seemed to really like it but was nervous about all the other kids that were there.
 He is so precious. Such a clean eater too. He never had food on his face or on his clothes.

The many faces of Stratton:







 June 22nd we did a photo shoot at my grandma Marges house to celebrate her birthday and also to learn how to make her famous angel food cake. 
This was my Aunty Pams mixer that she has had for YEARS! #vintage
Stratton was the only boy there. Poor guy. So much estrogen in one room.
Grandma and John have cacti in their basement. I'm always so intrigued by their plants. I can't seem to keep any of mine alive.
 My handsome little man. Love him so much.
 The lady of honor with the one and only recipe for the sacred cake.
 My cousin Beth lost her mom when shew as only 18 months old. The charm bracelet belonged to her mom, my Aunt Linda, so Grandma Marge gave it to her.
 We also found REALLY old new papers.
 This is a picture of my great grandpa. Isn't he so handsome.

 The almost final products. Letting them cool down is the hardest part of the whole ordeal.
 Sage enjoyed laying in the grass while the cakes cooled off and we had pictures taken.
 Aunty Pam and I in our antique aprons.
 Grandma Marge and I. I love her so very much.
 ...and the sacred angel food cake pan that apparently the granddaughters have no idea how to buy. 
 Ahhhhhh! The final product. How amazing does that look?!?

 Then there is Marcus and I being goofy.
 

 Zoe has been such a great addition to our family. We really do love having her around. Not to mention her and Groucho are best friends now. I love watching them play with each other.
 Me and the Grouchy Cat. He started barking at the birds literally seconds after this picture was taken.
 Stratton is a huge fan of taking naps over at my sister and Marcus's house. He gets all snuggled in and sleeps for hours!
 Then he wakes up looking like this. Seriously, how cute is that face?
 A couple weeks ago we had a big storm roll through town that caused some flooding and even gave us some funnel clouds and tornadoes in Jackson.
 The clouds and the lightning were amazing.



 This little guy was found in the shop at work so now every time I walk through it I think about him and it freaks me out. Thank you little green snake.
 This happened. Haha. He said it was his machine gun. We're just going to save this for when he gets older.

I started doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu this year also. It has been so much fun. I'm really loving it and the people are great.

 It was hard to root for anyone during this match because both girls are really great people. Precious (the dark haired girl) is from St Louis and Karly (the blonde) trains at the same school I train at. Karly did awesome and won! Precious and her husband own Kozen. They design and make awesome gi's.
 YAY KARLY!
 Garrett another guy that trains with me did awesome and won all of his matches. We actually went to Jr High together and hadn't seen each other in years before I started training.
 Kendra competed and lost her match but I was SO proud of her for getting out there. She did amazing and was up against a girl that trains in STL with some really great teachers.
 Cole, another guy from the gym, won all of his matches. The guy he competed against here was a really super nice guy.
 Bjorn, Garrett and Koty with their 1st, 2nd and 3rd place medals.
 Precious and Karly with their medals. They both did so well.
 Then Cole fought his no gi fight and did this to the guy. They think he broke a few ribs.
 I have been growing my hair out and trying new makeup. This was the final product of using a curling wand and trying out some new lipstick from Kat Von D.

 Stratton is turning into a tiny teenager the way he sleeps now a days.
 The 3rd of July was spent at Derek's step brother Josh's house. Him and his wife Ashley do a party each year and it is SO much fun.
 Stratton is obsessed with this helmet. I have no idea why.
 He loved the fireworks but the noise was a little bit too much for him.

 
 This little guy was in our front yard on the 4th. Stratton and I played with him for a little bit then let him go. 

 This happened.
 Kendra and I hung out with Stratton on the 4th and even did a little rescue mission.
 We set this little box turtle back on the right side of the road so he wouldn't get squished.

 Stratton was tuckered out along with Zoe after all the excitement from the fireworks.
 I bought a longboard last week and it finally came in the mail. I'm hoping I don't break anything on it but so far it's REALLY fun to ride around on.
 Stratton is finally sleeping in his own bed. Thanks to Groucho being a snuggle buddy he stays in his bed all night long. Thank the Lord.

This past weekend Derek's cousins Ashley and Whitney came in with Ashley's husband Justin and their son Jackson.
 Whitney and Ashley just LOVED holding the new baby. Harris is such a good baby too. He never cries and just sleeps all the time. It's great!


 We got all four great grand babies together for a picture. I'm so surprised they all say long enough for it.


 Uncle Garrett couldn't resist Stratton's awesome helmet.
 Baby Harris finally let me take a picture of him with his eyes open.

 Stratton wanted a tattoo (tattoon as he calls it) so I drew one for him with my eyeliner pencil.
 Groucho wouldn't let me read my nook the night before last. He kept standing on it and then once I started reading he say right in front of my face until I put it down and started petting him. He was happy after that.
 
 I had to make a trip to the DMV yesterday. My plates were 2 months expired. Whoops. Thank God Derek's grandpa pointed that one out before I got a ticket.
 Mrs Zoe girl had a vet apt yesterday and tested negative for heart worms and also hot a booster show. Yay!
My friend Emily is back up in the hospital so I went and visited with her last night. It was late and hospitals freak me out. She is going to be ok, they are just treating an infection. She is in and out of the hospital regularly so it's nothing new for her. She is so very tough and I admire her bravery. I am a total baby when it comes to needles and throwing up. She does both like a champ. 


So, there you have it. The last 6 months in one post. Now that I am back at it the posts in the future shouldn't be as long. Haha. I'm glad I'm back.

10 Ways to Style a Men’s Shirt | Brit + Co.

10 Ways to Style a Men’s Shirt | Brit + Co.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Due Date

Today is what would have been my due date.

January 24, 2013

I don't think it has hit me quite yet. Not the way I was expecting it to. Derek left this morning for the NAMM show in Anaheim, California so it's just me and Stratton here at the house with the animals. Of course Aunt Flo decides to rear her ugly head tonight and Stratton has a stomach virus at the moment. (hints why I'm awake at 2:30am on a Thursday morning.) I'm not a mom when it comes to the sick department. I'm such a baby when it comes to throwing up and all of that. Derek is usually the one that deals with the throw up and I handle the poop. That's just how it's always been. He knows how horrible I am when someone is throwing up and he graciously steps in with Stratton to help. Thank God I have an amazing mother that will drop everything in the middle of the night to come over and help her take care of her sick kid.

I know a lot of emotions will come about tomorrow but I'm seeing Stratton getting sick as a sign from God that there are far more important things than crying over something that I have/had no control over. It hurts to see other people with such beautiful newborn's right now but I have one already incredibly beautiful baby that is laying in my bed sick at the moment that I need to be more focused on. I know there will be a time and a place for me to let my emotions out but I'm thankful for now that I have a beautiful little sick boy to distract me at the moment.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Waxing Poetic Charms


If you know me you know I always wear my Waxing Poetic necklace and I'm always willing to tell people about how much I love my charms. Each one of my seven charms means so much to me because each one of them was saved up for and picked specifically because of what it means to me. The first time I bought a Waxing Poetic charm I knew I had fallen in love with them. They're made so beautifully and the chain that I bought for them to go on it just the perfect length, not to mention the quality is wonderful. The first charm I bought was an owl for my friend Sarah who moved away. I've missed her so much the last few years because she lives in Washington state. We talk as often as we can but I still miss her dearly. Every time I see this charm it reminds me of her and all the great times we have had together. Not to mention the owl tattoo that I talked her peer pressured her into getting on her butt. It's little things like an owl around my neck that make my heart warm knowing that I still can think about her all the time even when she's not around. Ever since I bought my owl charm I have saved up so I could purchase my next charm. I've filled my necklace with these beautiful pieces that mean so very much to me.

A few months ago I was going through the Waxing Poetic catalog (which I look at ALL the time) and I saw a Story Catcher. I immediately fell in love. All my charms are all bunched up on my necklace and this gave me the ability to spread them out so people could see them better. Awesome! As soon as it came in I put my "blessed" charm, my S charm (for Stratton of course), and my D charm (for Derek) in the latch and closed it up. I was so excited and it looked SO great. A few weekends ago Derek and I along with a few friends were sitting on our back porch when noticed the latch on my Story Catcher had opened and three of my most prized charms were missing. I immediately got a knot in my stomach. It was a bad enough week already having to go through the pain of having a miscarriage but adding that I lost some of my second favorite jewelry (behind my wedding bands of course) just pushed me over the edge again. Thankfully, I went outside and found my "Blessed" charm but my S charm and D charm were still missing. I was crushed. I looked for hours trying to see if I could find it under my porch and I search all over my house. I went to bed early that night and just cried. I love my charms and I was sure I would never see them again.

Last week I sent Waxing Poetic an e-mail letting them know about what happened with my Story Catcher and my missing charms. I just wanted to know if there was something I could do to prevent me from losing charms in the future and make them aware of what happened. How is a company supposed to know if something is wrong if no one ever tells them? I was expecting the usual cold reply about how there was nothing they could do and an "I'm sorry for your loss." Boy was I wrong. I have never gotten such a warm human response from a company before. It was such a breath of fresh air. The girl that responded back to me said how sorry she was about not only the loss of my charms but my miscarriage as well. She took care of not only replacing the Story Catcher that might have a loose latch , but she said they would replace my precious charms that I lost as well. I sat at my desk and just cried because I was so happy and touched that a company would be so kind.

I'm so happy to share this post because you don't see many companies like Waxing Poetic anymore. They went above and beyond to take care of me. I'm so thankful that I was not only able to get a replacement for the charms that were lost but, I'm thankful to know that there are people out there that really are compassionate about the care they give their customers. Thank you Waxing Poetic for not only making such beautiful jewelry but having such great people under your management.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Writing a new chapter

God is taking care of me.

I realize this now looking back at everything that has happened in the last few months. My brain has been so foggy because of the hurt I have been through. I have to trust that my God loves me and still cares for me. Because he does. I've looked back at the dates of my appointments and realized how much God really was in control and that His timing was perfect. He knows what I can and can't handle. He knew I wouldn't have done well having to have a D&C and that me miscarrying at home was what was best for me. My first doctor's appointment was scheduled for June 11th. I would have been 7 weeks and 4 days. They would have done blood work as well as an ultrasound to see our little bun. She would have had a strong heartbeat and would have looked like the healthy little bean that she was. But, the doctor's office called and my appointment got moved back to July 3rd. At this point I would have been 10 weeks and 5 days. My baby would have had no heartbeat and I would have probably have had to go have surgery to have a D&C that week. God knew that's not what I wanted to do before I even knew it wasn't what I wanted to do. But, thankfully my appointment was moved back once again until July 10th where I would have been 11 weeks and 5 days. My baby would have been still and I would have had to have a D&C to cleanse my body of our sweet baby. Which until this pregnancy, I knew nothing about a D&C. Thankfully, once again my appointment was moved back to July 24th. I would have been 13 weeks and 5 days. The day I started spotting was the same day my 3rd appointment change was scheduled, July 10th. God knew I needed to be there for my mom that day because she was so sick in the hospital and that I needed to be strong for Stratton while Derek was out of town in Nashville. At our first actual appointment I was 12 weeks and 4 days. This was when I got confirmation that we had miscarried. The very next day my body (and God) took care of me and I thankfully didn't have to have a D&C. Looking back at all the date changes and the situations that were involved I know God had his hands in everything that was going on. He had to have. There is no way this could have panned out so perfectly timing wise. God knew I needed to have my appointment later so I wouldn't have to go through the pain of surgery. God knew me having the pain at home and my husband and parents taking care of me would have been better than me going to a hospital and having strangers poke and prod at me. I was so embarrassed to show the kind of pain that I was going through to my family so I couldn't imagine showing that kind of pain to complete strangers. I'm supposed to be strong when it comes to pain. I'm supposed to carry my emotions in my pocket, not my sleeve. I'm thankful for my God taking care of me and watching over me. I know that even though I doubted him and was mad at him that he forgives me, because that's what my God does.
I'm loved and taken care of by my God.

Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Proverbs 8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Burning the Pages

Well, it's been a little over week since Derek and I found out that we lost our baby. To say it's been a really rough week would be a total understatement. Monday of last week was by far the hardest thing I have ever gone through mentally and emotionally. Tuesday was the hardest thing I have ever gone through physically. I have never experienced such overwhelming pain in my entire life.

I went to the doctor yesterday and it was like picking the scab off of an already sore cut. It hurt and it was all that I could do to not just start sobbing as soon as I walked up to the door. Of course the waiting room was once again filled with healthy pregnant woman. (which sucked to look at but really I am still happy that God has allowed them to have happy healthy pregnancies so far) I got into the room and as soon as I stripped from the waist down and got comfortable on the table they told me Dr Morton got called out for a delivery. Ouch. That sucked hearing but, I was still a little thankful because I got to see the nurse practitioner again. She did another pelvic exam and said that everything looked good. The news I was waiting to hear was that I didn't have to have the D&C. I again prepared myself for hearing that I would have to go under the knife but was PRAYING that I wouldn't have to. Thankfully, I don't have to have the D&C. All the pain and agony on Tuesday was worth it after hearing I didn't have to have surgery. I had to have some blood work done which sucked because I'm horrible at getting my blood drawn. The girl that drew my blood was awesome though, by the time she was done I was still yacking away about my tattoos that she was probably not so interested in but was talking to me about because it was distracting. I thanked her profusely because I think she could tell I hated having my blood drawn. I left feeling a little less nervous and a little bit more thankful because I didn't have to have a D&C. I got the results from my blood work today and it seems that my hormone level was at 522. Which is good, that means that everything is leaving my body and everything is returning to "normal."Next Monday I'll have to go in once again to have more blood work done. Then on the 15th I will hopefully have my last appointment for a while. After that I can get back on birth control and go back to "normal" for a while.

I know some of you are probably wondering why I would get back on birth control if we were trying to get pregnant. To be honest, Derek and I aren't even sure that we want another child now. After going through all the pain from a miscarriage it's hard to even think about the possibility of going through it again. We both agree that right now we're done trying for a while. We may get the itch again but I can tell you now it won't be for a long while.

Another thing that has been really hard for me lately is my faith. I may not go to church every Sunday or even pray every single night but I believe and have a strong relationship with Jesus. Lately my faith has been derailed though. I went into this pregnancy fully trusting God in all aspects of my life. I prayed that His timing for me getting pregnant would be perfect, our decisions during the pregnancy would be perfect in his eyes...everything would be perfect. I put my whole heart into trusting him and I feel let down. I keep asking why would he let me get pregnant and be so excited about it and then take it away from me just when I was starting to whole heartedly get excited about it. Why would he make me go through this? WHY? I have been struggling with coming to terms that God knows what's best for me. I really felt like this baby was what I was supposed to do next in my life. This was supposed to be the next chapter for me and Derek. But those pages were burned in a blaze of fire as quick as they came. One of the hardest things this last week as far as getting sympathy from people was reading someone say that "God doesn't give you what you can't handle." That hurt...a lot. I know they meant well but it's almost like people don't think before they talk and they don't realize how much something like that hurts when you've just had something you really wanted ripped from your arms. Saying something like that is like telling someone who just got a promotion at work that someone up higher said you can't handle the job so you don't get it. Then praying for strength for this is like going back to the person in charge of firing you and asking them for money. It just sucks. I know I sound so horribly unfaithful right now but I'm really truly struggling. Why should God get to be the one to choose if I can handle this or not? I'm just so confused and hurt and miserable lately. I'm praying for strength from someone who caused me to have the pain in the first place apparently. I just don't understand it. I'm tired of getting the sympathy. I'm tired of the looks I get from people at work who know what I went through last week. I'm tired of being poked and prodded. I'm just tired. I'm so ready to burn these pages and get past the hurt even though I know there will always be an emotional scar to remind me of this.