I love to look back at how much my life has changed within the last two years. I have become a better person because of all that I have experienced and am so gracious for all that I have gone through (both good and bad).
I know that I have made mistakes and that I have definitely chosen the wrong answer on more than one occasion but I'm glad that I chose the path that I did. If it wasn't for me being a wreck-less, irresponsible, kid than I wouldn't have become the mother, wife, daughter, and sister that I am today. I thank God for all the mistakes that I have made because if you can't learn from your mistakes than you really can't grow as a human being. For every argument that Derek and I have had it lets me get that much more into his head. It helps me understand what he is made of and what really bothers him. For every time Stratton cries or wines it helps me learn what to do and what not to do as a parent. I know that life is hard but it doesn't have to always be pulling you down just because you had a hard day.
To my mom...
I would like to say that you are my absolute hero. You are such a strong and wonderful woman and I really do look up to you everyday for your strength, energy, and most of all your heart. I know that you have seen a lot of pain and a lot of sorrow but no matter what, you have kept your head held high and remembered that even though someone has passed you mustn't forget about those you still have. I have lived everyday forgiving people that might not deserve forgiveness because you never know when it could be their last day on Earth...and you may not get another chance to let them know you still love them. So thank you Mom for teaching me the two most important things in life..love and forgiveness.
To my dad...
Thank you for letting me be your little girl still. You have always been there for me even when I have made the biggest mistakes of my life. You've always understood me and my emotions and even though we both had a hard time talking about our feelings we can both know that we still love each other no matter what. I miss getting to sit in your truck and drive for hours and not worry about anything with you on our way to go fishing. I can't wait till Stratton is old enough so you can do the same with him. You're an amazing father and I wish I would have listened to you more and fought with you less.
To my sister...
I love you SO much! I'm so happy that we are getting along finally. You have no idea how great it feels to have you as my best friend. I know we had a lot of tension in the past but I'm glad we could finally get past all the petty arguments and become friends. I can't wait to see you have children someday. You're going to be a wonderful mom. I know you're already a wonderful Aunt C and Stratton loves you so unconditionally.
To Derek...
You are a mess all in its own but you're my mess and I love you. I know we aren't perfect as individuals but I really do think that together we are perfect for each other. I love that you except me for who I am and all the flaws that I have. Thank you for giving me the best present anyone could ever have. He is my entire world and so are you. I love you so much and I can't wait to grow old with you.
To Steph...
You are definitely another sister to me. You have been so wonderful to me ever since the first day we met. I knew that we would grow to be best friends. I can't wait to see you become a mom because I know you're going to be an amazing mom and I Payne is going to be very lucky to have such a good mommy like you. If you ever need anything please let me know. You know I'll always be there for you no matter what.
To Ashley...
I know we don't get to see each other that much but you are still like a sister to me as well. You've always been my ear to bitch in and a shoulder to cry on. I can't wait to see you as a new mommy too. You're going to be an awesome mommy. I'll be there for you too if you ever need anything. Even if it's just a hug or a text that says "keep you're head up, you're doing a wonderful job."
To Mattie...
I don't know where to even start...
Forgiveness is a hard thing to give when you're burned repeatedly. But forgiveness is what I will always give you because no matter what happens you're still my family. I will always be willing to meet you half way when you're finally good and ready to. I hope that for our family's sake and for your and Erik's sake that God will bless you with another happy healthy child. I know that Trip was something very hard for the entire family but I think that someday we can all grow from what happened and move on to a happier life remembering what a blessing that he was for the short time God blessed us with him. Please don't let the things of the past dictate the way you live your life in the future.
To Stratton...
You are my entire world and I know you know that. I will always love you no matter what. You have become such a beautiful little man and I love everything about you. From the dimple in your cheek all the way down to your webbed toes. I never though that I would love something so much in my entire life until you came along. Until God blessed me with you I never though I had a real purpose in life. You don't know how much you have touched my life and everything around me. You have brought our entire family so close together and the love that surrounds you is almost unthinkable. I hope you never forget that I love you and that God loves you even more than I do. You're daddy and I are proud of everything that you do, no matter how small the feat. I love you Stratton Allen.
To everyone else...
You know who you are that are so special to me. I love my entire family and I am so proud to be able to be apart of each and every one of your lives. Thank you so much for all that you do both big and small.
May your days be full of unconditional love and endless smiles.
