It's so easy when the whole world fits inside of your arms

So this week is the last week that I get to stay home with my little guy and every time I think about it I get a huge knot in my stomach. I hate it. I hate that I have to give him to some lady that I don't know that well. Don't get me wrong. She's a great baby-sitter. But, it's not me that he gets to stay with all day everyday anymore. I just know he's going to scream the whole time. Err. I hate this. I don't want to go back to work but Derek and I need the money. I hate talking about it so I'm just going to put my latest pictures of the little guy on here. He's 6 weeks next week. It seems like just yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital and scared sh*tless about having to take care of a newborn. I had no idea what to do when he cried or how to make him stop crying or even really how to change his diaper without him peeing all over the walls. Now I've finally gotten into a routine and gotten him to where he sleeps in his bassinet and I have to forget about the routine and give him up. This is really killing me if you haven't already noticed.

Anyway, work is going to be kind of a bear going back to. Not just because I'm still having to wake up every 2-3 hours to feed and change the little man, but because a lot of changes have occurred since I've been gone. The changes aren't ones that I particularly like but I have to just be thankful that I still have a job. I'm going to just leave it at that.


Here are some of the pictures that I have been promising. The first one here is from Stratton and my birthday party. The little man slept most of the time. :) I'm going to have to get my dad's memory card so I can put some more from that day on here. These two are from Halloween. Stratton's FIRST Halloween. He was a skeleton. His Aunt Casey got his costume for him. This is Grandpa Calvin's Halloween setup that he makes every year for the trick-or-treaters. He's so crafty. We sat outside and helped Grandpa Calvin and Matt hand out candy. It was cold though so I had to bundle up and snuggle under the covers.

Grandma Kathie helped get the little man all cleaned up in the sink when I gave him a bath. He did not like it to say the least. Haha. He cried the whole time until we bundled him up in the towel.Grandma Kathie was such a big help. I just stood around and took pictures. I'm such a great mom. Haha. Ok, so I helped a little in the beginning but he still cried. Naked Baby! Finally done and wrapped up in a towel. Yay! Clean!

These next pictures are some of my favorite. They show some of the MANY faces that little man has been making lately and some black and white and sepia pictures that I took also. Grandma Kathie thinks this looks like those big nose dog pictures that are all contorted and close up. Haha. I think it's cute. This is his confused look. BIG yawn.Kinda mad. Really mad. Pissed. Smile! Now he's a happy baby. All smiles.

Here are the pictures that I took that are in sepia and black and white. These are some of my favorites.

Here is Stratton with his favorite toy and a great big yawn.

I know there aren't many pictures of my mom (Grandma Kathie) and my grandma (Grandma Marge and Grandma B) but I'm going to try to get more on here. I have some from the hospital that I still need to put on here as well. Here are a few of my mom and grandma.

Pregnant Pics

So here are pictures that I have been meaning to put on here for quite some time now as you can probably figure out by the first one. These are pictures that my friend Nikki took when I was around 38 weeks pregnant or so. I look so bloated in these pictures but it's just part of being pregnant and i accepted it (after and had him and my body went back down to normal). Anyway, here are some of the pictures that she took. They are so cute!

Much to talk about.

Well I don't have my memory card with me right now so I can't upload any pics right now. I will tomorrow I promise. So, since about two weeks ago we have gone to the Dr twice. The first time he checked out healthy and was 7 lb 9 oz. Most breast fed babies aren't supposed to reach their birth weight until they are two weeks old and he got back to his in one week! Momma feeds her little boy! The two week visit went well too. Dr Olson was there this time and he did the usual check of the stomach and heart beat and checked his circ. which was fine too. The best part was when Stratton decided to pee on the Dr! I know! That's my boy. Haha.

Anyway, we weighed the little guy today and he weighs 9lb 7 oz and is 22 1/2 inches long! He's getting so big so quick! I've had a hard time with him at night the last week or so because (as I feared) he has colic. Yes, my breastfed son has colic. Most babies that are breast fed don't get it but of course anything that could go wrong does for me. Just call me Murphy. (Murphy's law for those of you out there that didn't get that one) So, we are having to feed every 2 hours now plus get a nice hefty dose of Mylicon with every feeding as well. Poor little guy just get's so fussy that he turns bright red and holds his breath. I feel so bad for him because he's in so much pain and there's nothing that I can do about it. I guess it's part of being a mommy though. You just have to do the best you can with what God has given you.

Since my last post there has been something very tragic happen on my mom's side of the family. A cousin of ours little boy passed away in a car accident. He was 13 years old and his name was Calvin. From everything that I have read on posts and articals about him he seemed like such a loved little boy who had a very bright future ahead of himself. So sad that it came to such an abrupt stop. Before I woud have never felt such remorse for Calvins mom but now, having a little boy of my own, I couldn't imagine losing him. My thoughts and prayers go out to the family. I wish them well and pray that they get comfort knowing that he is in a far better place now.

This weekend Derek's Uncle Jimmy and his wife Shana came into town with their son Jimmy. He was born Oct 1, 2008. The day before Stratton. He was so cute and tiny compared to Stratton. I couldn't believe how tiny and cute he was. (not as cute as Stratton though ;) Shh) We had a good weekend getting to see the family. It's always nice having loved ones around. I'll get pictures on here of little Jimmy as soon as I can. He's adorable.

Update on Derek's hand: It is pretty much all the way healed. He can move it just as well as he could before he cut it. The only downside is that he still had no feeling in some parts of it. We just thank God that he still has his thumb.

Grandma Kathie has been a big help still with the little guy. She has come over again to help me calm the little guy down. She's so awesome.

We found a baby sitter here in Jackson as well. Her name is Lisa. Derek and I go to check her and the house out tomorrow around 5 to see how much we like her and the house. I hope she works out.

Other than all of that everything has been going well. I go back to work in about 3 weeks. I know I'm going to be a mess when I have to go back. I don't want to leave my little guy there at the baby's sitters house. I know I'll probably cry. :(

More pictures will be here soon. I promise.

Catching up.

Ok, so since the last time I posted SO much has gone on. There was a trip to the E.R. (nothing serious) more grandparents came to see the baby, and I have more pics that I know what to do with.

Lets just start with Friday the 10th. So, to start off the morning I was extremely cranky. Lack of sleep. Derek got a call from his mom that they were on their way over. I freaked because I was still in nothing but shorts and a bra because all I have done for the last 9 days is breast feed, change diapers, and sleep (every now and then). So Derek stalled and showed them the outside of the house. Mind you Brenda (Derek's mom) has yet to get to see the baby so she is dying to come inside to see him. I get dressed and do what I can to look at least a little bit presentable and finally they came inside. Well, on my way to taking Stratton out to see Breanda and Jim, Stratton starts to spit up and it's PINK! I freaked out a little bit and called Cathy my Building Blocks lady. She told me to call Dr Olson our pediatrician so I did. Well he was out so I had to wait for the nurse practicitioner to get back with me. Right after I got off the phone with her Stratton spit up again and it was BROWN with red streaks in it. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. (so I thought) I called the Dr back and told them what was now coming out of him and they told me to go up to the E.R. BIG MISTAKE! So, the first 10 min Stratton's Grandma Brenda and Grandpa Jim are there we have to pack him up and go up to Southeast to see what's wrong with the baby. I of course was a mess and was crying and carrying on. Derek kept telling me everything was ok. I didn't really believe him though I should have. We got in and 6 hours later got an answer. So Brenda's first pictures with Stratton are in the E.R. room. Here is Brenda's first pic with Stratton. Don't you just love the lovely blue backdrop? Daddy was making baby feel better and Grandma just wanted to hold him more than anything. Derek didn't show it but I think he was kinda scared too. He slept most of the time.

Turns out it was from me. Since I was raw from breast feeding my girls were cracked and bleeding and he was getting blood from me plus milk. So, 6 hours of waiting to find out that it was because my nipple were cracked and bleeding. I guess I shoulda just looked down and put two and two together. I felt so bad that our first day with Brenda was in the hospital. I felt so bad.

After the hospital we all went back to our house where Stratton's Uncle Garrett, Great Grandma Maxine, Grandma Brenda, and Grandpa Jim came over. Uncle G loves his little nephew. 4 Generations Grandma Brenda and Grandpa Jim were so happy to finally get to see Baby Stratton.Grandpa Jim loves his little Stratton too. Stratton loves his snugglie. It makes him all swaddled up tight and he sleeps MUCH better. Grandma Brenda couldn't put him down. She loves her little Stratton so much. I love this picture. He found him thumb and was sucking on it. It was so cute. He sounds like a little pig. The gown is a little big but he loves them and so do I. They make it so easy to change diapers. Our foot stool has officially become a sleeper for Stratton when we are in the living room. He sinks down into it. Daddy changing Stratton's dirty diaper. Happy Baby! So glad his diaper is clean. Thanks Dad! Stratton was staring at his Grandpa Jim. Isn't that sweet? Stratton loves his swing. It puts him right to sleep when he gets fussy.

Grandma Brenda stayed the night with us last night to let me and Derek get some sleep. It was so nice of her. Jim, Brenda, and Derek also hung pictures and shelves around the house as well. Brenda was such a good help. We can't wait to see her again for christmas.

The last few days I've had a terrible migraine and my body has been achy. I think I have the flu. Can't wait for this to pass.

Derek's First Time to Change a Diaper...sort of.

This moment that we had was short and sweet but made me realize (not that I didn't already know) that even the small things make life that much better and happier.

Derek decided that this evening when we got back from his Dad and step-Mom's house that he was going to take on the task of changing Stratton's dirty diaper. So he thought. I of course supervised like the worry some mom that I am. I made sure he kept the old diaper under his butt and made sure he put the wash cloth over his little wee-wee so he wouldn't pee on himself. Derek pulled open the diaper, grabbed a wipe, and started to go in for the kill when Stratton let out a nice juicy fart right in Derek's hand. That was enough to get Derek to throw the wipe, scream like a girl, and run to the bathroom. I of course was in tears because I was laughing so hard. Derek was in tears because he was laughing so hard and Stratton was turning red because I wasn't cleaning him fast enough. Since all the commotion that went on distracted me from cleaning his diaper properly he peed all over his onesie which I hated to change because he has started a new cry where he sounds like he's laughing then he just starts to hold his breath and won't inhale. I got him all cleaned up while Derek watched and laughed it off. At least he tried. That made me happy.

I really do have the best husband in the world. He knows how to make me feel better and make me laugh. What would life be without all the small things?

Day at the Park!

So today was day 4 of not getting out of the house and the last time I left the house it was to Wal-Mart to buy a breast pump at like 10:30 at night. Not really the outing I needed or wanted. I was bummed that I really didn't have anywhere to go and even more bummed because I wasn't really feeling that well. Being inside with no sunlight for that long can't be good. My friend Erica Haff ( a friend that I met about 2 years ago that now lives in San Diego) sent me a text message wanting to know if I would like to go to the park with her. I of course jumped at the occasion because I SO desperately wanted and NEEDED to get outside and get some sunlight. This would be the first time that I took Stratton in his car seat anywhere by myself. The only other time we had used his car seat was going home from the hospital. Needless to say I was REALLY nervous. I fed him about 20 min before we needed to leave so when we got all loaded up he would be nice and sleepy. So I thought. Of course he had to get fussy right before we were getting ready to leave and it made me super stressed out. I decided I just had to bite the bullet and get him in his car seat and go. It wasn't that far of a drive and it couldn't be that bad. Thank GOD I was right. I put him in his car seat and he went to sleep even before I had him loaded up into the car. He rode over to Erica's house completely silent (which still worried me). He was so quite that I kept on having to reassure myself that he was ok and that he was just sleeping. We got to Erica's house and waited for her mom to get there. Of course I wound up having to feed him like an hour after I got there but it was not that bad. That was the first time I had to breast feed him somewhere other than home. Erica breast feeds her son Tyler as well so she was very accomodating and let me go back in her room and feed him since her brother and his friend were there too. Anyway, once Erica's mom got home I took my car and Erica took hers and we met up over at Wibs for lunch. I was so nervous the ride over there that I had to call my dad just to ask if there was anyway that a baby could get strangled by his carseat or if his head being off to one side could hurt him. Plus about 20 more questions about if I was hurting him and if I was being a good mom. You know the normal. :) Anyway, we got to Wibs ate lunch now it was time to go to the park and get some sunshine! We got to the park and found a nice shady tree next to the playground and we layed out a blanket. It was so nice outside and the sun was perfect. I felt so much better once I got outside in the sun. Stratton slept the whole time we were there.

He got fussy so I had to change his diaper. It was a little too cold to do it on the blanket so we went up to the car and got him all fixed up. Stratton's Aunt Steph called me to see what I was up to and came to visit us at the park too with her dog Marley ( the goldendoodle)

He looks like a horse! Everytime he would bark Stratton would jump. It was cute.

Erica's little boy Ty is 10 months old now and is starting to learn how to stand up all by himself. He is trying so hard and is doing so good. He can stand for a few seconds. Here he is standing all by himself like a big boy!

After a few hours out in the sun it started to get a little windy and a little chilly so I had to wrap Stratton up in his snugglie. He looks so cute. He looks like a little caterpiller in a cacoon. And yes he sleeps with his mouth open. Just like his daddy!

It was so nice getting out today. I really just needed the fresh air and sun to make me feel better both physically and mentally. Stratton was so cute all snuggled up in his carseat. I hated waking him up.

I was so happy to have my baby and finally get outta the house.

Erica and Ty enjoyed the swings. We're going to have to wait a few more months before Stratton gets to swing. Maybe next year. Erica is such a good momma too. She's helped me out with so many different questions that I have had. She is such a great friend. I'm really going to miss her when she has to go back to San Diego.

Over all it was such a great day to go outside. I didn't even mess up once as a new mom. I'm very proud of myself. Baby steps. That's how you have to take it. One baby step at a time.

The Best Mother a Mother can have

Long nights with a newborn as most of you that have kids know is hard. Of course it's hard. You go from having all night to sleep, all day to take a shower, all day to feed yourself to BOOM your whole life is consumed by this little tiny person that does nothing but poop, eat, sleep, and look so dang cute you can't help but stare at him all the time. All of this so new to me and Derek and it's been especially hard since Derek cut his hand. I've pretty much had to take on most of the duties. I have to change the diapers, change the clothes, feed the baby, burp the baby and at some point try to squeeze in time to pee, eat, change clothes, and maybe at some point in time take a shower. (I know I stink right now so please don't remind me if you see me) Last night was my breaking point. I had been pushed past both my physical and mental limits and I completely broke down into tears. I couldn't get him to stop crying and I couldn't get him to latch on so he could eat. I was getting frustrated and scared and so I called the one person that could comfort me and help me out more than anyone else....my mom. My mom is the best mother a new mother could ask for. She worked all day yesterday going into work probably around 7 and not getting done with her jobs until almost midnight last night but she still managed to come over to her crying daughters house one town over and help until the wee hours of the morning and then wake up and go to work at 7. She let me sleep for a few hours from around 12:30 to almost three in the morning. Once she woke me up I let her sleep. She would wake up everytime the baby would and she would help me get him latched on then she would either burp him or change his diaper. He's been so fussy these last few nights because I didn't have my milk the first night. The second night he kept getting cold and not sleeping very well. Then last night I couldn't get him to do anything but scream. My mom has helped me more than I have asked for. Even in the delivery room she was by my side when everyone else was gone. She stayed with me for everything and was always that little voice that kept telling me I was doing so good and that it was all ok. She has truely gone above and beyond the call of mother hood and I hope that one day I will be able to show the same care for her that she has shown to me. I don't know what I would do without my mom. She is my rock and I love her so much for all the things that she does for me both small and large. I truely am thankful and greatful that God blessed me with such a wonderful mother.

Thank you momma!